Sarah Hardy Walsh, ND IBCLC
(506) 804-2246
Text for Appointment
Well Rooted Group Programs
Expand Knowledge. Nourish Resilience. Cultivate Community.
Our culture has set new mothers up to constantly feel like we're failing or falling behind.
The 'Good Mother' Myth
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Know what, Mama? The challenges you're facing actually began long before becoming a mother.
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From early in our lives, many of us were taught to be independent, to do it all ourselves and make sure it’s done just right. This generation of mothers is used to striving, finding answers quickly and excelling in being good. The good daughter. The good student. The good worker. The good business owner. The good partner. The good friend.
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And now, the good mother.
Guess who defines 'a good mother'? It's not the mothers! It's our Western culture where we constantly hear that good mothers birth their babies in a certain way, feed their babies in a certain way and have babies who sleep through the night.
Good mothers are selfless, organized, productive and dedicated to mothering 24/7 but also make time for self care and ensuring their families have clean, tidy, screen-free homes.
Good mothers cherish every minute and love motherhood.
Good mothers never feel frustrated, angry, envious, impatient, regretful, resentful or bored.
Good mothers never long for their lives pre-motherhood.
It's an unwinnable game, with standards that no human can attain.
Mothering is a wild, stressful, joyful, miserable, exciting, raw, revolutionary ride.
Striving for the perfection built into “the good mother” only results in coming up short…followed by guilt, shame and burnout.
Why didn't anyone tell me?
Most of us are taught that early motherhood is only about navigating sleepless nights, learning what works for feeding a baby and trying to figure out what’s normal baby behaviour.
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If you're like many of the mothers I meet, you've wondered why no one told you and no one has asked you about everything else that's left you thinking…
“This isn't what I expected. Why do things keep changing? Why can't I figure out what's going on? Am I doing enough? Why does it feel like everyone else has it together and I'm falling apart? Is my body supposed to feel this way? Is this amount of exhaustion normal? Why don't my relationships feel like they used to? I keep hearing it takes a village to raise a baby – where the f*&% is that village?”
And, while you're all caught up in these thoughts running through your mind, you're…
…missing out on nourishing connection with your baby and the moments of joy that are available
…craving predictability and structure (in a season of life that's often unpredictable and constantly changing)
…spending valuable time and energy looking outside of yourself for the answers, when so much of what you need is inside you!
Matrescence: The journey of becoming a mother.
As we navigate the tasks of early motherhood – the feeding, the sleeping, the caretaking – while carrying the load of our culture’s definition of a good mother, there’s even more unfolding under the surface – massive shifts in body, hormones, nervous system, mental processes, emotions, identity, values, boundaries and social connections.
How we look, think, feel, relate and who we are – it all changes.
It’s no wonder mothers are feeling overwhelmed,
anxious, exhausted and disconnected (from themselves,
from their children, from their needs and from supportive
community).
We’ve all been given an impossible task – do it all on our own,
figure it all out, hold it all together.
All. The. Time.
While on the inside, it feels like we're completely unravelling and alone.
Most support available through this time focuses on the 'how-to' of feeding, sleep and maternal-infant health. It can absolutely be helpful and bring significant relief. It’s where much of my work has focused supporting families over the years as a naturopathic doctor and lactation consultant, and they've consistantly noticed improvement in how they're feeling.
Over time though, I’ve learned that when we only focus on the how-to – the day-to day – we miss all of what’s unfolding in a new mother’s internal world – the shifts in body, mind, emotions, identity, values and spirit – and the ways that these shifts going on under the surface along with a lack of inner resources and energy to navigate them, can create obstacles for health and wellbeing.
Who and what is holding new mothers?
Who and what is supporting them to feel resilient and resourced as they traverse one of life’s most impactful transitions – one that calls them to deepen more fully into who they truly are, how they desire to mother, who they long to be connected with and what they’re here to do in the world – all while nurturing a tiny human?
The Well Rooted group programs focus on nourishing resilience and cultivating community on our mothering journeys, so we have the internal resources, energy and confidence for navigating all of the day-to-day unfolding of experiences and the deeper transformation we’re called into.
Resilience: How Are We Responding To and Recovering From Stress?
When I first began exploring resilience, I looked to Nature for guidance. Here’s what I found – research done in urban areas after significant storms (often hurricanes!) showed that trees were more resilient to withstanding the storms when they…
…are rooted more deeply and widely in the Earth
…have the opportunity to consistently receive nourishment from their environment
through sunlight, air, water and soil, to strengthen their structure
…have a flexible and responsive trunk and branches
…grow in groups that are diverse in age and species
…are regularly tended to
How does that translate to nourishing resilience on our mothering journeys?
Resilience simply defined is the ability to respond and adapt to the events of life. It’s our ability to stay up when the storms of life try to knock us down and when we're knocked down allows us to efficiently and fully recover.
Mothering resilience is…
…feeling grounded and centered, connected with the Earth and Inner Wisdom and able to respond and adapt to the unexpected, unpredictable and uncertain.
…feeling nourished by nutrition, breath, rest, movement and Nature – supporting strength, energy and vitality to be fully with the experiences of life.
…understanding and embodying the experience of a regulated nervous system with the capacity to experience deep steady and relaxation and to healthfully respond to all life brings – the joyous and the challenging.
…being connected with, supported by and cared for within a diverse community – a community that holds and nurtures you, so you can continue holding and nurturing your family in your most aligned way.
Nourishing thriving mothering resilience does not…
…prevent the unplanned/unexpected
…create certainty and predictability in our external circumstances or experiences
…or prevent us from experiencing stress and challenging emotions
BUT it…
…supports us in experiencing more steadiness, no matter what we're facing
…resources us to be with what's challenging and feel fully supported
…and ensures we recover fully and efficiently when we're knocked down.
When we nourish mothering resilience, it doesn't mean the storms of life won't blow through, but we'll have what we need to respond and adapt, with more calm, confidence and energy.
All Well Rooted programs offer simple practices for nourishing resilience
throughout matrescence and beyond.
Cultivating Community
We cultivate community because mothering was never meant to be done in isolation (our bodies and nervous systems are programmed to mother with others!) and we're committed to creating an ecosystem of support in a culture that too often dismisses its importance. When we come together and hold space for one another, we increase every person's capacity to learn, grow and heal.
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All Well Rooted programs were designed to support you in cultivating an aligned community of support, within the programs and your life.
Expand Knowledge with Reliable Information
+ Inner Connection
We have incredible amounts of information at our fingertips, 24/7. It may feel reassuring to have plenty of resources online. And it may feel overwhelming. Both experiences can co-exist.
Amidst all of the uncertainty that early mothering presents, it's easy to turn to Dr. Google for answers and to head down the never-ending rabbit hole of the internet.
Do you have ways of knowing that what you find is reliable?
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How do you discern whether the answers are based on good quality resources?
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What if the answers you find don't feel right for you and your family?
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How does it feel to dig through piles of information when you're exhausted?
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The value of accessing reliable information while nurturing the connection with inner guidance (Inner Wisdom) is immeasurable. It allowed us to gather answers to our questions and have a way to check in with ourselves to ensure those answers were the right ones for us and our families.
